Remembering My Father: Ephesians 6:1-4

“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NASB).

In this article I want to share a few of my memories of my father—daddy we called him. I was watching a Sunday morning news program on the ABC network. Ms Donna Brazil a strong Black woman, a leading democrat was on the panel of discussion and debate. The discussion was about gun violence and the need for better gun laws. What caught my attention was that Ms Brazil continued to reference her father; what she had seen him do. In my mind I kept saying to Ms Brazil: But Donna, you keeping saying my father, and too often Americans and especially democrats downplay the role of the father. In the African American community over fifty percent of the children are raised in a home without a male figure, nevertheless their biological father. Women and mothers are celebrated for raising their children without the help of the children’s fathers. White Americans should not be content, because of the growing numbers of white children that are being raised without a father.

As I listened to Ms Brazil’s comments about her father I thanked God that I had a dad. He was a father that I remember fondly. There are so many times that I hear on the news or read in a newspaper about something that has recently been discovered. I have to say that many of these things are not new knowledge for me. I end up saying: I learned this from my daddy when I was a child. Sometimes I remember specific times and the specific event in which my dad said things to me and showed me things. I thank God for my daddy. I see so many children having to learn to navigate life without their fathers. I know so many adults that are still affected by a life without father or a life without a good father. It has adverse effects upon the men and women that are married and their families. My daddy made his mistakes as a husband and as a father because like everyone else my daddy was a man. All human beings do wrong because every human being is tempted by the sin that is in them. This is the reason that I most remember my dad for the good things that he did in my life.

The first good thing that I want to say about my daddy is that my daddy was a Christian man. Daddy wanted to do the right thing. Daddy’s source of knowledge and wisdom to live by was God. My mother was a great student of the bible. It seemed like mom had a bible verse to support almost everything that she required her children to do. As a little boy my primary caregiver was my mom. Under her tutelage I leaned that the bible was the authority in our home because it was the word of God. The bible tells us about God and what God requires of us. This article is about my daddy. So, let me explain why I talked about my mother.

My daddy was a sharecropper. Even though many people think negatively about sharecroppers, I am proud to say that my daddy was a sharecropper making me a son of a sharecropper. When I got old enough to go to the fields and work with my daddy, I learned that the things that I had heard my mother say were the same things that my daddy lived by. My mom said “be honest,” “tell the truth,” and “don’t lie.” Guess what. When I worked beside my daddy in those fields I saw my daddy live what I heard my mother say. Daddy was honest, truthful, and he did not lie. My dad required the same from me. He was not fund of being around dishonest and lying people that did not value truth.

I have said that my daddy was A Christian man. The word of God, the bible was his guide. This made him to be a husband and a hard working man. Because of his relationship with his Father in heaven he was motivated to develop and exhibit other qualities that I am remembering in this article.

In the book of Ephesians Paul used relationships that were generally followed to teach the church about relationships among the members. Paul was teaching the church how they could have unity. Marriage was used as a metaphor to talk about relationships in which all the members honored each others. There was to be order in the church. There were lines of authority. Those in positions of highest authority had to love the ones that they had authority over. Those under their authority were to submit to their authority. The ones with the positions of highest authority were to submit to the authority of Christ; the head of the church. The role of children was used to emphasize further this idea of submission and obedience. The role of fathers emphasized the responsibility of those responsible for leading the people (children). This brings me to the second quality that my daddy possessed that I am remembering today.

My daddy was a responsible husband and father. In the text we can see that a responsible person is a person who loves those that submit to their authority. Unfortunately, many people misunderstand this instruction. They think that this is about who is boss, who calls the shots, and who has the last words. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Those that think this way are following the principles of the world and human traditions, and these do not come from God. To love someone means that you have the love of God in you and you love others with the same love that the Father loves you. (See 1 John 4:7-12). Love means sacrifice. You can give your best of yourself for the welfare of the one that you love. God gave His Son to us so that the Son could offer Himself as a sacrifice for us.

My daddy took his responsibility as a husband and father seriously. My daddy provided for his wife and children. I discovered that I am much like my daddy in this regard. I saw my daddy work hard in the hot fields all day. The money that he made working as a sharecropper was not enough to provide his family with what they needed if they were to achieve their potential. I remember two things that my daddy did to supplement his regular income. I remember my daddy coming home from the fields to help my older brother and me cut wood and load it on an old jalopy truck to sell to people who lived in the city and had to buy wood to heat their wood burning stoves for cooking and other household needs. They bought wood to burn in their heaters and fireplaces because electric and gas heating was not available in those days.

Secondly, my daddy found old and useless farm equipment lying around in the fields. My daddy would make deals with the owners. He would remove these items out of the way. Daddy would take his sons with him; dismantle the farm equipment, load it on the truck, and sell it to a place where they sorted and processed useless metals to be used in making new items. Added to these two things my daddy raised watermelons and sold them. Daddy hunted game and caught fish so that we had food enough to eat.

My daddy was a protector. My daddy owned a shotgun and a rife. He used these to hunt, and they were available if needed to protect the family. Provision and protection are inseparable. When a father provides for his wife and children they are protected from the need and temptation to resort to unscrupulous means to have their needs met. There are so many people that have resorted to stealing, not because they wanted to steal, but because they saw no other way to provide for the ones that they were responsible for. Protection includes being present so that the family is safe and secure from outside forces that might be luring in the darkness to take advantage of the mother and her children. Mom can safely nurture her children giving them the love, guidance, and support that every child needs.

Thirdly, my daddy was a teacher. As stated in the scripture at the beginning of this article, my daddy trained me up in the way that I should go. And God’s promise is true. I am old now and the things that my daddy taught me are still with me. There are a lot of things that my daddy taught me that have more meaning in my life today than they had when daddy first told them to me. The most important thing that my daddy taught me was to be myself. If I want to be the best self that I can be I must trust God; know His words and live by them. If I trust God and seek His guidance, He will lead me in paths of righteousness. The path that God leads me down helps me to navigate this jungle called the world. I am protected from every life threatening wild animal in the jungle. I recognize a lion and bear as well as the rabbit and the turtle.

There are so many experiences that I have of my daddy. Space in this article will not allow me to tell them all. I can truly say that my daddy trained me up in the way that I should go. I have not always complied with my training, but that was not daddy’s job. It is mine. In spite of my failures, I thank God for the memories of my daddy.