Lessons from Daddy (#1)

Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4, NASB).

It is Wednesday morning. I need to get started on an article to be published on Sunday. Sunday, that’s Father’s Day. What will I write about? I have no earthly idea. I ask the Lord to give me something to write about. What scripture will guide my writing? I am familiar with Ephesians 6:4, but I have used this before in articles and sermons. I need new ideas. I think about my dad and our relationship. We had a very good relationship. However, I confess that there were some rough spots in the road; yes, even a couple of large pot holes. What have I learned from my daddy? Thus, the title of this article, “Lessons from Daddy.”

This article is written not in judgment of others, although I hope that something might be said to cause some dads to think again about their role as a father. I am aware that no two people are alike. Each has their own perspective of things based on their life experiences; especially their relationships with their own dad whether good or bad. I hope that this article will help some of my sisters to understand the role of father; especially those who are yet to allow a man to be the father of her child. So, let’s get started.

The first thing that I learned from my daddy was that daddy goes to work. My earliest remembrance of my dad was seeing him come to the house, coming from the fields, his work as a share cropper. Now, there was no shame in the work that he did. I’m sure that he wished for something better, but daddy never complained about having to work and the kind of work that he was doing. Daddy went to work.

Do you know that God created man and the first thing that the man was given to do was to go to work. “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing on the earth” (Gen.1:26, NASB). “Then the LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). The first responsibility of a daddy is to work in service to the Lord. A man is first and foremost a steward of God to take care of whatever God puts into his hands.

The second thing that I learned from my daddy was to provide for and protect his family. As best that I can remember, the second thing that I remember about daddy was seeing him coming to the house from the garden with a shotgun in one hand and a rabbit in the other hand. Daddy had been hunting. He killed a rabbit that we would have for food. At the same time that daddy killed the rabbit that we would eat he was keeping the rabbit from eating the vegetables growing in the garden which was another way of providing for his wife and children.

I remember one Sunday morning the bull had broken through the fence and was in our yard. This bull was known to be mean and dangerous. It was daddy that first went out to run the bull off. My older brother followed daddy and the two of them protected us from this dangerous animal. The funny thing about it is that at that time I did not know anything about the bull. I had no idea that this male cow was more dangerous than the other cows. I think that there are a lot of children today that have no awareness of the dangerous animals that come into their yards. They have no idea that they need protection from these animals. You might be thinking, we don’t live on a farm and there are no dangerous animals around. I say, you are sadly mistaken. What about the abusers of our children? What about the child molesters and rapists? What about the racist policemen that shot and killed unarmed children; that beat up helpless children? What about the young men that enter our schools with military type assault weapons and kill innocent children? Yes, we need fathers to protect our children.

I believe that there would be less abuse of women and children if there were more daddies around to protect their children and their children’s mothers. The police cannot protect your children. They come after the damage is done. We need daddies to be home to provide and protect their children and their children’s mother. Now, I know that this truth has been downplayed and even denied in this country for many years. The truth is this. The trend has been that the more daddies are uninvolved in the life of the families we have seen an increase in violence among children and against children. Do you have any other explanations?

Do you know that God gives the daddies the responsibility to care for his wife and the children that she bears? After the man and his wife eat from the forbidden fruit in the garden, God prepares them to go out into a dangerous and corrupt world. “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Gen 3:16, NASB).

Now, I am aware that a lot of people, especially women have a serious problem with this verse. That is because we have misused the word “rule.” The Hebrew word is “mashal.” It is the same word used in Genesis 1:16. “God made two great lights, the greater light to govern (mashal) the day, and the lesser light to govern (mashal) the night. Thus, the word “rule” does not mean to be demanding and abusive. Rather, the English word “dominion” means to take care of what God has given one authority over. Jesus has authority over the church and Jesus showed His authority by how He gave His life as a suffering servant for the church. Paul writes that husbands are to love their wives and subsequently their children in like manner. He says, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25, NASB). I hope that you will also read verses twenty-six through thirty-three also.

The third lesson that I learned from my daddy was how I should respect myself and treat other people. Daddy did this by having me to come with him and my older brothers to the fields. At first I was too small to do much work. I watched daddy and my brothers do the work. So, when I was big enough to do the work I had a good mental picture of how to do the work. I also saw their attitudes about work, and their attitudes toward work. I did not see a lazy daddy that looked for ways to avoid work. I did not see daddy make excuses not to work. Daddy worked. He must have read, or at least known about the words of Paul. “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than men” (Col. 3:23). Maybe daddy was familiar with 2 Thessalonians 3:6-12).

Daddy played with his children; especially playing baseball with his children and taking his children fishing. Daddy played cards (no gambling games) and Chinese checkers. Daddy did not talk very much, but his words had power. He used proverbs to teach us and I remember some of them to this day. I think that the two that I remember best and have had the most impact on my life are: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” “Be careful how you treat people because you don’t know where your next biscuit will come from.” The first helps me to evaluate opposing arguments. The second has kept me from treating people according to my first impulse about people. Some of these people ended up helping me in very significant ways.

Finally, daddy taught us that we are to give God’s word priority in our lives. Daddy often had to work on Sunday. However, he helped my mother to get us to church to worship the Lord. Mom taught us to participate in the activities of the church, and daddy was right by her side in her efforts. Daddy taught me that there is no authority higher than the authority of God. He did this by living what he preached.

I could say more, but it is time for me to bring this article to a close. I hope that the reader(s) of this article will see how important daddies can be and should be in the life of their children. God bless all daddies; especially on this Father’s Day.